Final medals

The final medals have been awarded at London 2012 but this blog has a few more to bestow in events so far criminally overlooked by the International Olympic Committee:

Plain-speaking: Quotes with Candour
“I just want to go to Nando’s actually.” Nicola Adams, the world’s first women’s Olympic boxing champion, after winning her gold medal bout.
Silver: “Now and again rubbish things happen and this was one of those days.” Victoria Pendleton on disqualification in the women’s team cycling sprint.
Bronze: “I really hope it improves my pulling power with women, to be honest with you – yeah, I think that’s about it.” Show-jumper Scott Brash on how winning gold will change his life.

Synchronised Spinning: Don’t Blame Us!
Gold: Come to the Olympics and see the flame on telly! After hiding the flame at the bottom of the Olympic Stadium where most Olympic Park visitors couldn’t see it, organisers claimed this was no problem as it could be seen on big screens. These same people had, of course, raved about how wonderful it was to see the flame at first hand during the torch relay.
Silver: Blame Twitter! No timing data for the Olympic road race? It’s all the fault of spectators — shock horror! — using their mobile phones!
Bronze: Blame London! With baton-passing skills to rival the Jamaican sprint relay team, officials at Hampden Park in Glasgow swiftly shifted responsibility south for the Korean flag flap. BBC Scotland “understood” that it had a duty to help.

Catering without Credit: Best unbranded food at Olympic venues
Gold: Chicken balti pie, as sampled at Wembley stadium. Mutli-cultural fusion of Britain old and new. The spirit of London 2012 all wrapped up in a baked product?
Silver: Waffle served up outside the Basketball Arena (as well as on this blog). Surprisingly tasty. Belgium’s greatest contribution to the Games?
Not even worth bronze: Cheese jalapeño pretzel, served at the Riverbank Stadium. Disappointingly tasteless. But perhaps this is true of all pretzels.

It’s Official: Most ridiculous-sounding “official” suppliers
Gold: “Official Smoothie of London 2012”. Some people not happy about that.
Silver: “Official treat provider to Team GB”: Will Cadbury’s be taking Jessica Ennis, Bradley Wiggins and Mo Farah on a trip to the zoo or the cinema?
(No bronze awarded. It’s already too ridiculous)

Endurance Event: Olympic emailing
Gold: Only one team on the podium: the spam department of London 2012, long distance champions who relentlessly harried people around the world with messages they didn’t need to flog them stuff they didn’t know they wanted. Taking their cue from the giant John Lewis store next to the Olympic Park, they ensured these Games were never knowingly undersold.
As far back as April, they were excitedly declaring to international inboxes that it was “exactly one week until we celebrate 100 days to go to the start of the London 2012 Olympic Games”.
They kicked for home during the Games with daily “updates”, exhorting us to “celebrate Team GB medals with”… what else but… free postage and packing! They
proclaimed “Super Saturday”, followed by “Super Sunday” — signs of the imagination flagging there, but they soon rallied with “More Medals Monday” and kept up the unrelenting pace until the final day with an entreaty to “Keep on running to the London 2012 Shop”.
This blog has not bought so much as a Wenlock key ring from the London 2012 shop but it salutes the Olympian indefatigability of its keyboard-bashers. And it strongly suspects they’re not done yet.


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